my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize