I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ladies don't puke and tell
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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