everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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