you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
