32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
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