yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
