Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
