I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
