he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
