Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
