So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
