Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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