Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
