I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
