i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
