You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We got so high we made milksteak
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
