If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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