Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
