meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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