I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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