honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize