you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Randomize
