We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
