Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
