I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
