shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
