i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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