Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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