I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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