8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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