the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
