I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
