is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
