i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
