Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
