He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
