What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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