So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
