no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
