this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
wow bdsm is so cute
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