So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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