i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
