I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
