if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
did i walk over a car last night?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
pray to the hookup gods
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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