She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
