i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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