Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
