Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
