Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize