Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You don't make any sense
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