he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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