You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
