just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
