Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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