weddingsv make me drug and hornr
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
