Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
