Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Every concussion has its silver lining
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
