Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
