after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
