Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
