Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
