I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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