You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
