I looked at my own cervix.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
