Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
