Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
