I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
