I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
