I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Let's get the cat blown out
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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