Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
